undeniable.

I feel like I haven't done personal work in a long while. I always want to and felt like it but could never really bring myself to do it. It's like when you feel like talking and you want to have a great conversation but you have nothing to say. Or you really feel like cooking but you can only find shitty non-interesting recipes. Or you want to read a really good book but everything seems boring and long. Or you want to see a really good movie but you've seen a lot of the good movies and begin to get indecisive with the amount of choice thereafter (mystery, drama, romance, comedy, sci fi, and so on). I am hoping that while all this wanting and then not doing anything, that even though I'm not doing something, that I'm at least absorbing whatever is happening so that when it finally comes time that I make something, eat something, read something, watching something, talk about something, that it is somewhat informed and fulfilling and if I am lucky, meaningful.

I've also had a hard time with the idea of making stuff. Where does it all end up, what's the point, etc, etc. And I still have a hard time with it and maybe that's part of the satisfying thing of making something of your own, working through these personal misgivings and at least coming out with something. Something that is yours.

And this here, is mine.